Ow, my tummeh.

I had been keeping a blog over at diet.com since March of this year but I began to dislike the amount of advertising they had on their site plus I always felt like things I wrote needed to be food or diet-related. While a large portion (haha) of what I talk about may be food related, my XXL-ness needed to break out, hence the start of this blog.

I often feel that the end of the year is a wasted time and mentally I can't get started on anything until that near year gets started. I know that's stupid and I'm trying to break out of that this time. I don't do New Year resolutions but since the week my grandmother died, I've been thinking a lot about how I've not being doing anything with my life.

That's not wholly true; I've been working and I've been playing World of Warcraft (it's own form of work). I decided yesterday in a fit of boredom that I was done and cancelled my account, uninstalled the game, unsubscribed from all my WoW podcasts, and called it done.

The first thing I did this morning was clean and organize my office. It felt really good to get rid of all the junk mail piles, the random food bits from late night playing sessions, and the dog furballs accumulating under my chair where he was looking for random food bits. It wore me out because I was actually doing something other than sitting in my chair running around a fake (but beautiful) world doing fake things with fake money.

I tie my experience in WoW a lot to my current job, a website designer for Yellowpages.com through Technisource. Because it is advertising, I sit in my chair rushing to meet my productivity numbers to develop alluring lures for various companies to cause their clients to spend money. I guess it's not a fake (but corporate) world with fake money but my brain sees the correlation.

A few things happen to me when I get obsessed about projects and the first is that I stop taking care of myself i.e. eating well or exercising (and sometimes to the point of bad clothing and bad hair). So when I take on a new job I tend to get overwhelmed with trying to learn everything I can to excel in the position and it's only when I master it do I realize that I forgot to brush my teeth for a couple days or the jacket I'm wearing has a big food stain. I am exceeding my production goals though!

So after sitting all day at work obsessing, I was coming home and sitting all night obsessing about my WoW character. After four years, the fat excess around my midsection has grown sizeable and I've been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome and insulin resistant. I'm not blaming my lifestyle but it has been a contributing factor.

I think about my health this year and my upcoming birthday and I'm in a much healthier state of being than last year so overall we're going to call that a success. I'm very much looking forward to being able to look back next year and have even more incremental success. I always want to be improving...my life, my body is my character that I have to obsess about and improve.